over dinner the other day, kevin and i talked about love and ethics-- are the two compatible? under what circumstances would you compromise your ethics for love, which in the first place, may or may not be a mirage (that love, not your ethics)?

more importantly, when is it 'ok' to help someone win over someone else's girlfriend? for a while i was conflicted, because without my help the guy might not have a fighting chance. and yet meddling usually brings its own set of problems-- who am i to judge the situation? but at the end of the day, i truly felt that this guy was sincere, and that he could bring the girl happiness, he deserved a chance to prove himself.

i talked to a friend online about this and he had an interesting take on the situation:
Statement 1: Your loyalty lies with your friend other than with her boyfriend

Conclusion 1: If S1 is true, then your friend's happiness is your prime concern, the boyfriend's POV be damned.

Statement 2: You know your friend well enough to fathom what she wants in a relationship and what she needs in a relationship.

Statement 3: You know your friend well enough to be able to accurately tell which of the two men fulfil statement 2 to a greater extent, and will remain consistant in their action-set and mind-set.

Conclusion 2: If S2 and S3 are true then pursuant to S1 being true you're doing the right thing.


I don't know, after thinking about it, perhaps i've done all that i should do. maybe now the guy should prove himself by himself, only then would it be fair. maybe sometimes in life we have to go for what we want, ethics be damned. this boy told me, "i feel [that girl] is one in a million, that's why i'm fighting for this."


i used to be an idealist, and in many ways i still am, kind of. but perhaps i've learnt that one needs a healthy dose of reality, things seldom turn out the way we want them to. maybe this is one of the ways 2009 has changed me. before, i'd have told you that under no circumstances should one try to compete for someone who's attached, it's just wrong. but thinking about it now, the parties involved have the power to exercise their right to choose, to fight back. a little competition can be a good thing. afterall, we're still young, we're not talking about marriage (which is a whole different ballgame because there are so many more people involved, and marriage means a life built together, which is hardly the case here).

this is a sure sign we're growing older-- things aren't clearly black or white. toto we're not in kanas anymore.

i often wonder, if pandora felt trepidation before she opened that box, since she knew full well she wasn't allowed to open it. same goes with eve, and that forbidden fruit. (funny how both these myths blame women for the world's evil eh?)

i feel abit like pandora, like i'm starting something i can't quite handle. and yet, still i start it. my parents had it right, trouble really is my middle name.

limits? what limits? good gosh, why am i always courting disaster?


but try as i might, i just can't stop. perhaps, it is because i don't want to just yet.